RAIN(Inside and outside)

The rains are here....... so is an abyss..............
loss....too much loss........i wonder................i wish i was in kotabagh..alone..to actually feel...the rain....delhi holds too much loss and pain..a sigh of relief the rain is from this wretched summer heat...even viva is miserable......
the point is..am i getting to the point?????

why??i cant ask anymore....
how could it all end like this..so many lies..so much of ugliness..even ive turned into a tyrant...a violent figure..who i dont recognise myself.....yet...in the mirror i see a resemblence of my former self...

.
does it even matter anymore?????

YES...............
give me back...

all the faith i had in you...yes i trusted you blindly

the memores we shared:-
the laughs..sitting outside gargi..laughing at all the cars
the beers..rosy pelican in the gypsy in thunderous rain
te way i cried..when u sold the gypsy
the heads we turned with my skirts..and "batchelors world...virgin style"
the first clubbing days to ghungroo and float
the mickeys and bindus...and jugnus
the ever lasting benson lights
the royal stags..topped with ice n soda
the times you held me....when i was getting over "him"
the tears....too many tears
the two amazing trips to kotabagh.we were one with the universal beauty of that place..
and yes...
to the fights
to all the times i fought for you,over you
saved u from being bashed up
and then bashing you up myself....

YES
i have left you with a wound.....a physical wound
but you have left me with a everlasting stabbing wound
for above all things....
you..were.."my friend"

i always used to say HATE is too strong a word....but i use it today..i hate the person you have become... never did i think you would betray me..in such a fuck all way...you were a beautiful soul...but now tainted with a ugly heart(and yes i do blame the company you are in)...but above all.... i blame you.......
never again...will i wanna see you..never again will i miss you........

.........to all the years........
we spent together............now WASTED!!!!!!!!!

to........
all those memories..those precious memories.......
now FAKE!!!!!!!

CLOSURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A TRIBUTE TO "A"(LOVE U FOREVER MOSQUITO)

FUNERAL BLUES

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-- W.H. Auden